Underlying Hurt
by LovingJasperHale
Summary: Bella is dealing with the Recent death of her father.When what really revealed, Bella could have it too.Does Bella have the same illness or is it something else that is toying with her? Will Edward be Able to save her?Will the Doctors be able to save her?
1. Prolouge

**Underlying Hurt**

**Bella.**

Next week was going to be absolutely dreadful; this would make it a year since it happened. The first anniversary of his death, my heart still ached as though it had only happened today.

It had been a complete shock when my father, Charlie Swan had passed away. My mother refused to tell me why he died but after a few months of digging I found the cause.

I was angry at first when it happened but once I learned why there was no way of knowing what was coming and there was no way of stopping it.

My Mother Renee and I had stayed in the house we had lived in since they had married all those years ago, I found myself cuddling into his pillow which still smelled like him.

The hurt I feel is absolute and never ending, I miss my dad so much.

It is not fair that he was taken from us so soon but why my mother hadn't told me why he had passed was because it had hidden complications.

Charlie's condition was passed down through genes, which means I could have it. The thought that it could be happening to me terrified me, not only am I terrified for myself but I'm scared. My mother would be all alone and I couldn't bear to leave her, not after what had happened last year.

My boyfriend Edward Cullen was always there for me, though I couldn't tell him what I was doing or what had truly happened to Charlie yet. Carlisle knows exactly what happened and he was the one who told me.

I couldn't tell anyone, I felt so alone.

I don't want to scare people and I don't want to be treated differently. Tomorrow I have a appointment with Carlisle Cullen.

I am going to have some tests done to see if I have what killed Charlie.

Renee thinks I will be at school and Edward thinks I'm staying home.

All I could do was hope and try to push the fear to the back of my mind.

**This is a very delicate story to me, very personal. This is what happened to me and is still happening. If you are going to leave hateful reviews don't bother writing one at all.**

**I am definitely continuing this fanfiction.**

**lovingJasperHale**


	2. Dedication

**Underlying Hurt**

**I'm Not Sure Whether To Make This A Full Human Story Or Normal Because It Doesn't Have As Much Meaning If They Can Just Turn Bella When It Gets tough. Let Me Know What You Think.**

Last night's sleep was completely unrestful. I couldn't get settled, I was too nervous and scared to let the sleep pass through me. My thoughts dwelled back to Charlie. I wore his shirt to bed so that he was still close to my heart.

Tears streamed down my face remembering the happy times I had with him. He hadn't deserved to die, I knew that much.

I nuzzled my face into his shirt and remembered the last time he had worn it. It had been the night he yelled at me for staying out too late with Edward, way past curfew.

Even though he was yelling at me I knew it was because he loved me. The passions in his voice made me want to run up to him and tell him I loved him too, but I couldn't anymore and that thought tore through me like an animal was tearing me apart. I would give anything to hear his voice again; It distressed me deeply at the idea of letting the sound of his voice slip through the cracks.

I woke up to the sound of someone tapping at y window. I glanced to my bedside table to the clock that laid on top flashing 6am. It was only a hour before I had to get up and get ready. I stalked over to the window and unlocked it allowing Edward entrance to my room.

I was greeted by his warm arms gripping me in a loving hug. I had no idea why he loved climbing up the tree and into my room, it made me worry constantly that he would fall.

He knew exactly what I had been going before I fell asleep most of the Cullen's thought I was stilling grieving, which was true but I was also absolutely terrified of it happening to me. I would die leaving my mother, I wouldn't let that happen. I would leave behind my second family, the Cullen's'.

I was also scared of dying itself, I'm not particularly a religious and the thought of eternal darkness made me cry and go into hysterics.

Edward led me to the bed where he sat next to me; my head lay in his lap while he stroked my hair. Edward had always been gifted at calming me down, no matter what.

"How did you know?" I asked through muffled tears.

"I could feel your pain." He admitted.

"Feel it?" I asked, completely intrigued.

"Yes. I was playing the piano when I felt stabs of pure pain, at first I didn't know what to make of it but when I asked Esme she explained this happens sometimes when two people have such a incredible bond." He explained.

Our bond had grown, I felt happy for the first time in a while but it was quickly clouded by guilt then sorrow.

"Don't feel guilty, I don't mind feeling your pain. It makes it easier for me to understand and how I can help you feel better." He said.

How could I not feel guilty, he would have to share in my sorrow and fear. Then the thought snapped in my mind, how I could lie to him when it came to tomorrow and why I felt so scared. The stress began to build and I pushed it away, deciding to deal with it when the time came.

I had enough to worry about today, I would be undergoing tests for anything and everything.

**Sorry about the short length but I wrote this with one hand because I sprained my right wrist from writing. I hope you decide to stick with this story, It probably is real sad now and probably get sadder and maybe make a few of you cry, I do apologise for that now.**

**This story is a way for me to release some of the pain I feel and raise awareness of a few particular medical problems that are very close to me. This story is also about remembering to saviour every moment you have with the ones you love, unexpected things happen and they can change your life so drastically.**

**So make sure you tell them you love them, you never know what will happen.**

**Dedicated to my father, always remember I love you.**

**LovingJasperHale**


	3. Graphics

**Underlying Hurt**

I woke to the soft sounds of my lullaby playing on my iPod stereo; Edward must have put it on before he had left for school. I grunted as I got up heading straight for the closet.

Carlisle had told me to wear something comfortable so I decided on a pair of loose fitting black jeans and a turquoise coloured sweater. I grabbed my bag that I normally used for school and placed a spare set of clothes just in case I needed to stay overnight.

I walked down the stairs sluggish as usual to be greeted by my mother and a freshly baked pile of pancakes.

Renee gave me a kiss on the forehead before she left for her job in Port Angeles. We both agreed that moving was something we could never do so she had gotten a job as a travel agent in Port Angeles. The daily commute was well worth the money and it kept us here in forks, where my father had grown up, where he had always lived, where my parents met, where they got married and where I was born. I was made out of their love for one another which made me smile, their loved surrounded me even though he wasn't here anymore, I still felt like he was somehow still with me.

I don't know how but somehow he must be, it's what kept me going and keeping me strong that Charlie was watching over me, cheering me on for the good things and yelling at me for the bad. I didn't mind him yelling at me, for it was something instead of nothingness.

I ate my pancakes with whipped cream and strawberry jam. The only way I would ever eat the pancakes and my mother knew it. I let the smile curve my lips upward at the memory.

It had been only when I was four and refused to eat pancakes, or much else for that matter. Charlie had threatened me with whipped cream, he was going to spray it in my face if I didn't eat it. I still refused to eat it so he sprayed me like a maniac, only stopping when the can was empty.

They were in hysterics as they looked at me covered in whipped cream, licking my lips. Something about the cream made the pancakes taste all that better.

My smile became more prominent as I remembered how I had hugged Charlie while I was still covered in cream and he got smothered in it too. I still remember the cream beard I had drew on him that day.

I sighed, grabbed my bag and headed outside.

The cold snarling wind whipped on my face. The coldness and heartlessness of the wind was raw torture on me after coming from the sweet memories that I had been engulfed in moments before.

I climbed in my monstrous red truck that we had bought from Billy Black about two years ago when his son Jacob finally got his licence and wanted to build his own car. Charlie had once made a joke that the monstrous noise and largess of the truck was a boy deterrent. It didn't work well because Edward didn't care at all what type of car I drove, he only cared about me.

Charlie had accepted Edward after a few months of standoff behaviour towards him, he told me it was because he didn't want to believe his little girl had grown up. That was one night when we were drinking coco by the fire in the lounge room. Such warm memories made my heart beat faster; I just wanted my dad back.

Nothing could bring him back and I knew it, I didn't care I still wanted him back.

The drive to the hospital was long and anxious, my pulse getting steadily faster or was it slower I couldn't really tell. I hadn't been to the hospital since that horrid night that I had tried to push out of my mind but I really had no choice. I had to be strong for Renee, I couldn't' let my fear get in the way.

I pulled up and parked in the first available parking spot I saw, I climbed out carrying my bag and headed inside. As I walked in the door I was overcome by a memory.

_Flashback_

_Renee gripped my arm tight and we both had endless tears streaming down our face. The sounds of the ambulance siren ringing in my ear too loud, too loud._

_The noise climbed and I saw them, two large men pulled a stretcher out of the back of the ambulance. There laid my father, his body covered in blood and he was shaking rigidly. I felt my knees crumble at the sight and my mother sobbed hard at the sight._

_A group of doctors rushed out to meet the stretcher and began twittering away in some stupid technique language that I had no clue what it meant. I felt someone pick me up and I didn't care who, I nuzzled into their chest and soaked their shirt with pure agony filled tears. The strong arms placed me on the owners lap as they had now taken a seat, I looked up for only a fraction of a second to see Jacob's face. His eyes were red and puffed too as he shared my pain._

_I returned my face back to his chest and he cradled me as I poured out the pain. I had no idea where Renee or anyone else was, the only thing that I could concentrate on was seeing Charlie so hurt, so in pain._

_It broke my heart._

_End Of Flashback._

It had been here that I had collapsed and Jacob had picked me up. The memory seemed so real, like it was happening all over again. A soothing hand brought me out of my nightmare memory, I didn't have to look up to know who it was. He was always there to help me, soothe me.

Jacob put his arm around me and lead me to the counter where I signed in. We sat there in the waiting room for a few moments before a nurse came in and showed me to a examination room. She stopped on her way out.  
"Family only young sir." She said, warningly.

"Jacob is family." I said, peeved. She was not going to make Jacob sit outside, worrying.

Hell I would have refused to go through the tests if Jacob wasn't here with me. Jacob had been with me since we were little, very little, babies almost. He was my family, there was no doubt about it.

He was the only one besides Carlisle who knew what was happening, I didn't mean to tell Jacob after all but he had found me when I was balling my eyes out after Carlisle had told me what killed Charlie was hereditary. I had spilled my guts to Jacob, now he was the one here comforting me like that dreadful night.

"I'm here for you Hun." Jacob said soothingly.

"I wouldn't want it any other way." I said truthfully.

There were so many things keeping me from turning into a complete mess and killing myself. Edward, Jacob, Renee and the Cullen's were the main ones.

Edward and Jacob had gotten along fine til Jacob tried to kiss me one night a few years ago but after Jacob and I had talked he realised that I was fully dedicated to Edward, though I did love Jacob.

I wish Edward could be here with me now but I just couldn't find the way to tell him and I didn't want to panic him either. I knew when he found out he will call me silly for keeping it from him so long but I know it was the right thing to do.

Alice and Rosalie would go bananas when they find out, fretting and worrying beyond exaggeration. Esme would probably be the same. Renee however didn't know I knew, neither that I was going under tests so she thought I was still grieving too.

As Jacob held my hand, we waited for Carlisle to come through those doors and start testing. Carlisle had assured me that it would be him that would be testing me and maybe a few nurses but a small handful.

If I did have to stay overnight Carlisle would just ring Renee and tell her I'm sleeping over but when It came to the Cullen family. If I had to be kept overnight, they had to be told.

I didn't know if I was ready to tell them, or if I had anything else to tell them.

I could hear footsteps approaching the door, the door opened and I stared into the eyes of

Dr Carlisle Cullen.

**I wasn't sure how in-depth to go with the graphics but I decided less is better because I really didn't want to freak you all out.**

**I'm glad that most of you read the note last chapter, it is very important. I'm also glad that I have touched a few of you, I completely understand that if you wish to stop reading because it's sad.**

**There is light though, light comes in the smallest forms. I May reveal the light with the results or keep it for a little latter and let the results sink in.**

**I'd like to take this opportunity to thank you for reading and being dedicated to my writings. All the reviews I have received warmed my heart and they meant a lot to me. I thank you for your kindness also.**

**LovingJasperHale**


	4. Scared

**Underlying Hurt**

"Good Morning Bella. How are you today?" Asked Carlisle.

"Scared." I admitted.

As I uttered the words Jacob squeezed me a little, in a comforting gesture.

"Thank you for coming Jacob." Smiled Carlisle.

"Bella, I know you wanted to keep this from everyone but I had one very keen Cullen who wouldn't rest til she knew what was going on, I hope you can forgive me for telling her."

My eyes instantly widened, her, who did he mean?

At least I knew it wasn't Edward.

"who?" I asked very shakily.

"Esme."

I took in a deep breath and looked at the wall to think.

Esme knew, the statement barely registered in my head. Of course Carlisle would need to talk to someone about it, it was selfish of me to tell him not to tell. Esme was the mother figure I needed with me through this and now she will be with me through this, or so I hope she will.

" It's okay, I wanted to tell Esme soon anyway." I said, still starring at the wall.

"Bella, Esme is outside in the foyer and wanted to come stay with you while your doing the tests if you want her to." Queried Carlisle.

"Of Course I'd loved it but wouldn't it scare her?" I asked thinking of only Esme's sanity.

"Ah, I see what you mean but being married to a doctor she isn't as unfamiliar with medical stuff as you might think. I'll go get her now and while I'm gone I would like you to get changed into the gown on the bed and we shall get started." Carlisle said as he strode out the door.

"Did you want me to wait outside?" Jacob asked uncertainly as I grabbed the gown and was considering the easiest way to put it on.

"I'm fine with you staying but if you want to go outside it's fine too." I said.

Jacob and I had been swimming on countless occasions so we weren't strangers to bearing a little flesh to each other.

"I'll just face this way." Jacob said and turned to the wall.

I couldn't help but giggle, his face started to burn a little red at his discomfort.

"Stop mucking around Bells and get changed." He growled at me.

I did as I was told, the gown was lose fitting but luckily it wasn't one of those gowns with the gaping backs that revealed too much for anyone's eyes. Once dressed Jacob was still facing the other way so I decided to sneak up on him and try to jump on his back but he twisted around and grabbed my wrists before my feet even left the floor.

"Bella I'm not deaf."

"You were listening to me getting changed." I said as I blushed, Jacob always managed to make me feel better and goofing off with him now was making me feel calmer.

"No." He said defensively.

The door opened and I saw Esme and Carlisle.

Jacob dropped my wrists, Carlisle gave Jacob a scolding look and I ran into the arms of my second mother.

Her small hands were stroking my back as she held me as though she was afraid the room was going to be ripped apart and we would be on opposites sides of the room unable to get to the other.

"Bella you should have told me." She said a little teary.

I couldn't help but shed a few tears of my own.

"I know I just didn't want to upset you or scare you." I told her.

"And deal with it by yourself? I don't think so sweetie, I love you and you have to tell me these things." She scolded.

"I don't know what I was thinking not telling you but I promise to tell you anything that's bothering me." I said and she gave me a smile.

"I'm always here for you Bella you can tell me anything and everything." She said.

"I'm sorry." I said as Esme still cradled me in her arms.

"Don't be sweetie you were scared, it's alright, I'm here now." Esme cooed.

"You didn't tell Edward did you?" I asked in a sudden moment of panic.

"No, I can completely understand your choice to keep it from Edward til you know for yourself but I worry how he will take it." Esme admitted.

"So do I." I said.

"Bella we have to start the tests now unless you wish to stay overnight for them." Carlisle said.

"I don't want to stay overnight unless I have too."

"Ok well go take a seat over there." Carlisle instructed.

I sat down on the bed and watched as Jacob and Esme sat down in the chairs while Carlisle came over to me. He fiddled around in the cabinets before pulling out a compressor that they tie around your arm to find your vein. I gulped as Carlisle withdrew a needle and some other weird plastic stuff and a tube.

I haven't been to the hospital may times before but I knew what the tube was. Carlisle stepped forward and wrapped the compressor around my arm.

"You need to stay still." Carlisle warned.

I turned to face my family and they were looking at me with sympathetic eyes. I could feel the coldness of the sterol wipe being dapped on my skin, then came the stinging and I winched as the needle entered my skin and into my vein.

If it wasn't for the pain I would have laughed at Jacobs face, he looked very uncomfortable as he watched my blood pour out into the tube collector. Once Carlisle had extracted enough blood he took part of the needle out and replaced it with a weird tube then over the tube he placed this sticky plastic that was used to hold the tube in place.

"What's the tube for?" Asked Jacob.

"It saves time if we need to admistrate medicine or fluids to assist in the testing and it also saves Bella from getting continuously pricked by needles." Replied Carlisle.

"Come with me and we shall get a few scans done." Said Carlisle as he grabbed my other hand and led me through endless corridors closely followed by Esme and Jacob.

We entered a room where this massive chamber looking thing was located, it was simply huge and looked like something out of a science fiction fantasy movie. I felt the muscles clench in my stomach as I was told I had to lie on the bench thing and that it would be moved til I was in the centre of the massively bulky and massively scary machine.

I was told I could begin to feel claustrophobic and I could understand why immediately as the bench I was lying on moved into the machine. There wasn't much space inside the machine and there were rotating parts that had lights on them.

A voice flooded the chamber.

"Bella stay still as we do a few scans then we will have you out of there as soon as I'm done." Said the friendly nurse who had told me about feeling claustrophobic.

The rotating parts began to hum and flash some lights so I closed my eyes. I felt dreadful and absolutely horrified. I kept my eyes clenched shut and I could hear one moving vigorously around my head then it all stoped.

"Well done Bella, we just need to pull you out for a injection then back in for one more scan then your all done with scans for today." The nurse said cheerfully.

At the word injection I was glad that Carlisle had put that tube thing in my arm so then I won't have to get a full needle. The table slowly withdrew itself out of the machine and the nurse was standing there waiting for me.

She grabbed my arm and started injecting this blue looking liquid into my arm, it made me feel funny. My vision got a little cloudy and I felt really dizzy, I had a sort of lead taste in my mouth.

"I have this horrible taste in my mouth." I uttered incoherently.

"It will go away after you have eaten after the scans."

"What does that stuff do?" I asked.

"Its called dye and it lets us see where all your veins are to make sure there is no blockage in them and things like that." She said.

The nurse pressed a button and the bench started moving back into the massive machine.

I remember hearing the lights and the loud hum of the machine before my vision went completely cloudy and the darkness engulfed me.


	5. I'm Sorry

**Underlying Hurt**

I stifled a yawn with my hand, my body was aching and I could feel the contact of another person's hand on mine.

When had I gone to sleep? I don't remember going to sleep.

I slowly drew my eyelids open, to see the plain walls of the hospital staring back at me, blinking my eyes I began to take in my surroundings, it was light outside. I looked down to see Edward holding my hand, he was cautiously watching me, I looked away from his questioning eyes.

I could hear the rhythmic beating of machines surrounding me.

"Bella." I could hear Edward's low voice calling me.

I looked around to meet Edward's eyes, I didn't want to.

"What happened?" I asked.

"You passed out when they were doing some scans Bells; you've been asleep for two days now." Edward said sympathetically.

"Two days but Renee..." I trailed off

Edward squeezed my hand. "It's ok Bella; Renee doesn't know you're here."

"I'm sorry, I'm so sorry Edward, I should have told you, I know I'm sorry I was just so scared." I began sobbing.

I watched through teary eyes as Edward stood up, still holding my hand he bent down and placed a gentle, loving kiss on my forehead.

"I don't blame you sweetie, you have been through so much and now this. I just want to be there to help you, to make you feel better, please let me do what I can to help you." Edward said.

"I just didn't know how to tell you, I won't keep anything from you again, I'm so sorry."

"Bella, I love you and I'm going to do everything I can to help you get better." Promised Edward.

"I love you too Edward." I said, I could feel myself beaming with truth.

"How are you feeling?"

"My head hurts and my legs are a little sore from being in a bed for so long and I'm really hungry." I said.

A small smile crept across his face.

"I was hoping you would say you were hungry, I want to take you on a picnic in the garden if you would like."

"I'd love to." A smile graced my lips at the thought.


	6. UnMistaken Actions

**Underlying Hurt**

**Unmistaken Actions**

**Bella**

Edward left the room quickly and came back moments later with a wheelchair.

"Edward, No, I can walk by myself." I said feebly.

"Don't be silly, you either accept the chair or I will carry you everywhere." Edward said, his plan thoroughly thought through.

He knew I hated being a bother and that I would always choose the wheel chair over giving him a sore back, even though he claimed I was as light as a feather, but today was different.

"Please carry me." I said, with no stuttering, clear determination at my line of thought.

Edward's eyes looked happy at my request but he couldn't hide the surprise that crossed his face, after all the time that I had not been able to tell Edward I had felt horrible and that I was betraying him. The last two days must have been torture for him and I just wanted the closeness of him.

I pulled down the bed sheets and found that I was wearing one of those horrid hospital garments that had an opening at the back, before I could protest Edward had already picked me up and I could feel his hands on my lower bare waist, slightly touching my bare backside.

"Edward, can't I put some err ... clothes on?" I asked, my discomfort so clear in my voice it was embarrassing.

Edward put me back down on the bed while repeating sorry over and over again, clearly he had all too well forgotten what I was wearing.

"Don't apologise." I said.

"Bells you were..." Edward was at a loss for words.

"Mostly naked I know" I blushed.

"But my hand" he said.

His head dropped into his hands at his obvious embarrassment.

"Edward listen to me, I don't mind, besides I haven't felt you're touch in so long it was nice."

"Even there?" Edward asked.

"Especially there, we've been together for three years now, you don't have to apologise for touching me, let alone there, I'm pretty sure were old enough." I said with a little laugh to hide my embarrassment.

When he didn't reply I added, "The fact that you've never touched me like that before only made it more special."

"I didn't know you wanted to be touched like that or more." He said mystified.

"I always have, I just didn't know how to bring it up. Don't you?"

"Of course I do Bells; I didn't want to rush you."

"Three years, I don't think you're rushing it." I said.

He let out a little chuckle, "You are very right about that, you seem to be filled with a lot of energy." Edward noted, because I had moved over so that I was as close to him as possible without sitting on him, and at the way the conversation was going more into my favour I was getting excited.

We had never discussed this before and I was glad to finally get the topic out there, partly because I was beginning to get frustrated.

Edward turned his delicate face to me, I was so close to him, I could see every detail in his face, from a solitary faded freckle to the way his lips were pressed together in a slight smile, a nervous smile.

I was looking straight into his eyes when his flickered down to look at my lips, then back up to my eyes, I loved the way he was always so careful before he kissed me, always asking for my permission, never just accepting that I did want to kiss him, every time.

I moved my hand to gently wrap around his neck, pulling him closer, impatient for his lips to meet mine.

This kiss was free.

The passion was so raw it made my whole body tingle, his other hand went to my waist pulling me closer to him, even though moments ago he was furiously apologising for touching me in that area.

His hand that was cradling my face moved down my neck, I shivered in response to the sudden change in what normally happened in our kisses, he took the gasp as a chance to put his lips to my neck, planting soft kisses, I could feel the heaviness of his breathe on the spots on my neck where he had kissed, the feeling so wonderful.

I didn't know what I was supposed to do next, but strangely my hand ended up stroking his leg, he removed the attention of his lips to mine, then pulled away.

I sighed, a little disappointed.

Edward could see the spark of disappointment in my eyes.

"Bella be reasonable, you've just been unconscious for two days, you're not ready for this completely, so don't rush it." Edward said.

"But what if I never get better?" I said, revealing my inner thoughts of fear.

"Don't you think that way ever, you will be fine, Carlisle is here to help you and so is every doctor in this hospital, just don't ever say anything like that again." Edward stormed, angry.

"The entire doctor's here didn't save Charlie." I said, slipping into the depression that I was feeling before, why did he have to be so angry when I was just expressing my fears, I can't deal with this myself and he said he wanted to help me but his reaction to this is just scaring me.

"Bells I know I'm not being nice about this, but Charlie, it was just too late, it had progressed too far. You know that there often isn't and for Charlie there were no warning signs, there was no heritage of his family having something like that, so he wasn't checked out for something so rare as an aneurysm. Bella you have a better chance that most who have this, we don't even know if you do have it yet, but we know what to look for and likely areas, it's a better chance, Charlie has given you a better chance at fighting this." His words harsh, but true.

"Please go." I said.

"Bella." He pleaded.

"I'm tired."

"I'll be back later then." He said, his face displaying the hurt I had inflicted on him.

I had no choice, I could feel the breakdown coming and it was all because of what Edward said, I know that his words were the truth but did he really have to bring Charlie up, I could feel the tears falling from my bloodshot eyes, soaking the pillow, I knew my sobs weren't quiet but I didn't expect a nurse to come in.

"Bella, oh god I'll go get Carlisle." Said the nurse, misinterpretation my cries of depression for hurt.

I would have yelled out, but by now I had been crying for hours, I didn't have the strength to speak.

I didn't hear the hurried footsteps of Edward's father running towards my room, I was too absorbed in my own hurt.

"Bella, what's wrong? You have to tell me where is hurting." Demanded Carlisle in a flurry of words as he entered the room, I looked up and he looked over to the nurse, "Mary get some wipes and please fetch Dr. Barnaby."

The nurse trotted away.

"Carlisle really, I don't need to see some therapist or whatever that Dr is." I pleaded.

"Bella, haven't you seen the pillow?"

His words confused me, what pillow?

Was that slang for something, some medical jargon?

I did the only thing I could think of, looking at the pillow that my head laid on.

It was stained red.

I immediately jumped out of bed and away from the pillow; my hands were covered in blood too.

I quickly checked myself to see where the blood was coming from, I couldn't see anywhere.

"Carlisle where is it coming from?" I screamed in my panic.

Carlisle gripped my shoulders tight, trying to stop me from panicking more.

"You're eyes are bleeding, Dr. Barnaby is a neurologist, Bella were going to find out why this is happening and were going to fix it, but right now I need you to calm down, you don't need to have a panic attack, so sit down and deep breaths." Instructed Carlisle.

I breathed in and out, in and out; it did nothing for the panic and nerves that were crushing my lungs.


	7. Chapter 7

**Underlying Hurt**

I don't know what happened next, after seeing the white pillow that had now turned a stained red because of my tears sent me over, Carlisle was there telling me to breathe, to calm down.

After lying in that hospital bed for hours, pouring the pain out, now I felt exhausted.

I groaned.

"What's wrong Bella?" Carlisle asked.

"My neck, it feels sort of stiff, like it's locking up or something. Can I go back to sleep now?" I begged.

My mind starting to fill light and fluffy as the exhaustion took over, my eyelid's falling slightly as I wanted to give into the oncoming sleep.

"No Bella, you have to stay awake, stay with me dear, don't close your eyes." Warned Carlisle.

I hadn't even realised I had closed my eyes; I opened them at Carlisle's demand, though I wanted nothing more than to go to sleep.

A nurse came rushing in with a doctor following closely behind, the nurse switched the light on and my vision faded in a pop of pain.

I Screamed and pulled my hands over my head, cowering from everything.

"I can't see, I can't." I sobbed harder.

"Turn the lights off." Growled Carlisle.

"Bella can you look at me, I need to have a look at your eyes." Said the unfamiliar voice which must have belonged to the other doctor.

With the endless exhaustion that I felt, my head was throbbing, like I had wacked my head against a brick wall, the pain was mostly around my eyes and forehead.

I managed to lift my head and open my eyes to realise my vision wasn't completely gone, but completely blurred.

"Can you see now?" Asked a panicked Carlisle.

"Not really, it's all blurred and my head it's throbbing can I have some pain killers please?" I asked.

"I'll go get you some sweetheart." Said the female nurse.

I muttered thanks in the direction her voice came from.

Carlisle and the other doctor were talking too fast for me to pay attention too, I decided to rest my head on my leg, and I would try to keep my eyes open, my neck still aching.

I didn't care to listen to the conversation, I just closed my eyes, and drifted off.


End file.
